That time I put pepto on my face....

Monday, May 19, 2014

So the internet is so full of awesome ideas right? I mean hello Pinterest for giving me so many cool DIY tricks from painting my nails with different designs to the awesome baseball party I threw my son this weekend. Seriously when Pinterest came along I lost all sense of creativity. Why reinvent the wheel. Someone else has already did it and dude Im lazy #aintnobodygottimeforthat so I often look at pinterest for cool shiz!

I'm not ashamed to say I've done some pretty dumb shit because the internet said it was true.. No shame in my game.  So here is a list of the stupid awesome things I have done because Pinterest said it would work.





1. Put deoderant on my vag after shaving.. its supposed to prevent razor bumps. Idk if it worked maybe my razor just was awesome DUH but whatever #sofreshandsoclean

2. Tried to whiten my teeth with a banana peel... ummm yeah don't do that.

3. Putting tin foil in a boil and pouring used grease into it. That shit doesnt harden so you can throw away you just have a bowl of grease rather than a pan of grease.

4. Homemade baby wipes... okay this worked when I was broke as hell but they're really thin and soapy so either I F'd up the recipe or they're the equivalent of dollar tree wipes and if you dont know about dollar tree wipes you dont know the struggle! Ps. Cutting a paper towel roll in half isnt all that easy!


5.Nori seaweed wraps... Do I really have to elaborate? Okay. I thought it would kind of be like sushi. It wasn't. First of all canned fish EW! Second of all it was all mushy and fishy and I threw up. The end!
6. Eat your heart out diet. Okay gals trying a new diet you see on pinterest is great who doesnt want to get healthy? Well the one I followed failed to mention that you were supposed to eat soup every day and at the end of the first day I was starving to death seriously and then I gave up. Do your research.
7. Detox water. Now this may just be me because who gets sick like throwing up multiple times from drinking water with strawberries and lemons in it? I did. Maybe that was just me but whatever this chick wont be trying again!

8. Using toothpaste on picture hooks to mark the wall. Im clumsy and toothpaste is sticky...#hotmess

9.  Homemade potpourri Uhm yeah my house smelled like ass and then I had a pot full of cranberries, cinnamon, and oranges that I didnt know what to do with.


and 10. The reason you clicked on this blog post. Last night I googled DIY pimple remedy. Some brilliant asshole person said you can put pepto on your face and it will get rid of pimples. Hell yeah I got 3 bottles of that shit in the cabinet. So I rubbed pepto all over my face while my boyfriend looked on disgusted.  It dried quickly like a mask and my face smelled like a peppermint. That damn zit is still there and its actually bigger. Don't trust everything you read on the internet chances are you're going to look like a crack whore that just went on an LSD binge and thinks pepto is magical unicorn shit that will clean your face. #fail 






and apparently didnt get all the eyeliner off my eyes so I look like  a back alley crack whore....



19 comments

  1. lol you poor thing! i have tried some stupid things as well haha. try some toothpaste on that pimple, i didnt read it on the internet - mum told me and i have always used it. to be honest though, sometimes they need to go away on their own, boo. and deoderant..... i might try that lol

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  2. bwahahahaha!! This made me laugh so hard! Great post today! If it doesn't sound legit--it probably isn't. lol

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  3. I laughed so hard at this post....this is so what I would do! I saw it on Pinterest it must be true! Also yes Dollar Tree wipes....The Struggle!!

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  4. LOL. Girl...you really will try anything, wont you? Just kidding....I know I have tried some stuff that I read about and it did not turn out so well. The same goes for recipes on there too! Most of the time food stuff turns out ok....but some of the other stuff...not so much!

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  5. This post has me dying!! So funny! The first one almost made me pee my pants. Thanks for being the guinea pig and letting me know what not to try. :)

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  6. One that I found that DID work: baby powder to ward off ants.

    I'm a clean person, but the ants are EVERYWHERE anyway! Sprinkle a little of that stuff and poof! they disappear. ;-)

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  7. Oh my goodness! You have inspired me to write a similar post. So cute + funny. Still laughing from the "putting deodorant on my vag" story! xo

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  8. This is too funny. The pepto is the best part. I don't mean to laugh. I don't normally try the home remedies off there I do the arts and crafts because I don't wan to use my brain to be creative anymore.

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  9. HAHAHA. Ok, don't use the deodorant anymore. I'm pretty sure that could end up irritating your skin!

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  10. i'm sitting here drinking a damned glass of iced water and munching on a blasted celery stalk, and the only thing i can say about these things is that my body will be happy for the healthy but my mouth is like WHAT THE FUCK.

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  11. haha... This post wins for best Monday post! Seriously, I haven't laughed this hard in forever. Thank you for sharing your fails for our benefit!

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  12. the homemade baby wipes i am doing that but then i bought a pack of real baby wipes and oh my gosh forgot sawing a roll of paper towels in half, soaking them then only having them break in half while you are trying to wipe a baby's bottom not fun1

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  13. Ha oops!

    I could not do a seaweed wrap. Ick!

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  14. Haha.. I google suff all the time but I rarely put things on my face b/c I break out easy. Have you heard of using plain yogurt to cure a yeast infection, lol!?

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  15. Bahahahahaha... back alley crack whore... that's good stuff right there! I'm gonna start emailing you shit I want to try so you can do it first. ;P

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  16. OMG I love you so much for this LOL. This was great! Those wraps look SOO gross and I am with you about the detox water! NO THANKS! Happy I can learn these lessons from you!

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  17. hahahaha. I hate the fails but they are funny. Really really funny.

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  18. lol too funny! At least you warned us!! There are some things I see on Pinterest and I'm like... really? lol

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  19. This post made me laugh so hard! Mostly because I would totally try every one of those.

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