Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I guess in honor of October I will show my ghost face. I truly miss my blog but honestly by the time I get home in the afternoon typing or doing more 'work' seems like the last thing on my mind.

Job stuff

I am still long term subbing I finished my first grade special ed job early September and jumped right into Kindergarten. Doing this has definitely rekindled my love for teaching I never dread Mondays and the days just seem to fly by. I will be finished with my kindergarten class November 13, and I will jump right into 2nd grade until early February. Needless to stay this school is keeping me busy and I absolutely cannot wait to be here full time next year. I feel like I am learning way more than I ever did in college.

Workout stuff
So I have gained about 5lbs since I started teaching... kiddos have special events just about every week. The night before school started I hurt my back sneezing  organizing my classroom. I was barely walking and having to take pain pills just to make it through the day. About 3 weeks ago the pain finally subsided and I started walking afterschool. The pounds haven't come off but I will get there. I really miss running but I am scared of injuring my back again. This is the second time my back has went out on my this year. I really should go to the doctor but #brokegirlproblems. So to an extent I fell off the wagon but I am desperately trying to get those 5lbs off so back to eating well and no more cupcakes from the kiddos ;)

Baby daddy drama
Well I guess no news is good news. We went to court in May and up until then he was seeing the kids and paying child support. Once he got off with a slap on the wrist he was back to not paying and we haven't heard from him. My son wanted to call him early in September so I said go ahead and call. Of course there was no answer and instead of calling my son back, he emailed me and told me next time B was going to call I needed to email him with a time. UMMM since when do you need an appointment to speak to your father...PSH #aintnobodygottimeforthat. FINALLY after 2 years we have a court date for child support October 20th hopefully things will change and I will start getting some help with the kids but if not I got this!
Home life
Mike and I are still going strong and I love him more and more each day. The kids still have days where they think they are only children and that causes some tensions but we are all finding our place and adjusting to one another. I mean its been almost 2 years you'd think we would have it down by now but we like chaos. I got a new truck yay I finally got my dream car.. Ford Expedition ;) It sucks on gas but I love it so much! We are currently planning a Halloween party and I am super stoked about it. We are going to be Jack and Sally from Nightmare before Christmas :) Hopefully I will update this thing again so I can share pictures.
Well that's a summarized version of what's been happening in my life the last couple months! Our next break is in November... but I hope to update before then LOL!
and I am at work so no Gifs but love ya mean it!


Monday, August 25, 2014

Well I totally suck at finding a balance on working and blogging etc. So whats been going on in my world? I am still learning the ways of the school and lesson planning. I learned a lot in college but it has nothing on real life experiences.

I feel like the administration there really like me as well as the teachers. I have had many compliments lately and it definitely makes me feel good. I am doing 6 weeks in the current classroom and then I have a 6 week maternity leave next, and today I was offered another maternity leave at the end of November. My leap of faith is proving to be the perfect thing for me. I feel like God is blessing me repeatedly since I have learned to finally put my life in his hands and give all my worries to him. I don't know what will happen next, but I feel like everything will work itself out.

I finally got a court date with my ex-husband for child support (even though as soon as he found that out he stepped down from his position and took a pay cut psh) so that will be some sort of steady income here shortly if he doesn't quit his job.

The kids are adjusting and seem to like having me home more often. I feel like Brock is finally starting to come around to potty training. Today he finally told me he had to go to the bathroom and went on his own YAY!

I am really in love with my life right now. I feel like everything is finally starting to fall into place for me. That empty feeling I had a few weeks ago is totally gone. The worry and anxiety of not having a permanant job is no longer there either because I honestly feel like everything is going to be just fine.

Prior to my leap of faith I was kind of teetering on my faith altogether. Here lately my faith has been restored and I feel like its time to get the kids and myself back in church. I prayed that he would just give me a sign...and well sign received.

I am sorry that I have been MIA but days and nights have been full of living and enjoying life. I see a huge improvement in my attitude about everything. I am not bitter and I am still wearing that smile every single day.

I hope all of you are having a fabulous week!


Confessions...teacher session

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Vodka and Soda
Ahh Kathy thanks for doing this link up you rock my socks and give me a reason to make time for my blog... here lately I suck and I am sorry!

1. I confess I totally turned a drinking game into a teaching game... yea I am fabulous like that. When we were at the beach I was introduced to drunk jenga basically you pull a block and have to do whatever the block says. Hello teaching tool... we build the jenga tower and when the students pull one out they have to answer a subject related question BOOM!
2. The car riders pick up line is one hot mess, and parents have been insane in the morning. I like to use "I'm new here" so parents stop yelling at me and give me sympathy lol It's my little secret that I know that school like the back of my hand but whatever I am not trying to get yelled at so early in the morning.

 3. Its really embarrassing if you are a "teacher" and your kids say things like "Why did my Popsicle turn into ice when I sucked it?" Ummm seriously! Or when their teacher comes up to you and tells you that they did their homework wrong. Confession...I don't monitor their homework...who knew writing spelling words three times each required a certain method. lol
4. I picked up a little boy to help him get some water out of the water fountain and apparently I squeezed him too hard because he totally farted on me and it wasnt just a fluff it was a full on man fart after pizza and beer night! I then died laughing like a 8 year old boy... farts are funny teacher or not!
Well thats all I have for you tonight ;) Have a great week!

First week

Sunday, August 10, 2014

I am so sorry I havent come around and visited you guys. Whoever said teaching was easy was a big fat liar. I am so tired when I get home that I have literally no energy to do anything else. However, I went from a job where I sat on my butt for 9 hours to constantly being on my feet.

My first week was great. A lot of you asked me exactly what I was doing. Basically the staff wanted to see me in action so they suggested I do a couple of long term subbing jobs at the school. Right now I am subbing in a resource room for 1st grade for the next 6 weeks. After that I will be doing a maternity leave for a kindergarten class until November or December. Once those two positions are over with I am not guaranteed a job. Im hoping I can find another long term subbing position until the end of the year when they start hiring again. Thats why this was such a huge leap of faith because a job is not guaranteed but this is what I want to do and I have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

I did not get any kids last week basically I did a lot of walking around and helping with  testing and preparing my classroom. Since I am a resource teacher I do not have my own students, I will walk around and pull students to help them out in a smaller classroom. Tomorrow is really going to be my first day teaching and I am very excited but nervous all at the same time because its a little different than what I am used to. I interned with the teacher I am subbing for so I am sure it will all come back to me once I get started.

I promise to make my rounds and visit as soon as I have time and energy. I love all of your support and kind words :)

I confess... Im old

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Vodka and Soda
Okay first and foremost going from a job that has you sitting for 9 hours to teaching is one heck of a transition and for the last two days I have wanted to go straight to bed once I got home so I am sorry for my lack of visitation. However I always love confessions and though I better get some typed up.

I confess I threw my back out Sunday BY SNEEZING! Yes I am officially old. :(
I confess I am ABSOLUTELY loving being at the school everyday!!!

I confess I tried to look my absolute best on Monday for the first day. Wearing heels and teaching do not go together HELLO GIANT BISTER ON MY FOOT... I will be wearing old lady orthopedic shoes from now on. LOL jk. Maybe
By the end of the day I looked like this

I confess that I am pretty sure the  other teachers are thinking something is seriously wrong with me. I have had a big cheesy grin on my face from day one from 6:45 to 4:30 I am really really happy LOL
Alright I have lessons to plan... really Im lying its 7pm and I am going to bed!

Happy Wednesday!

August Goals... July's recap

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Wow it is August already and I just started teaching yesterday so bare with me I may be in and out for a while. This is a huge adjustment!

July's goals were A BIG FAT BUST!


1. Successfully quit smoking (1 week today) FAIL :(
  2. Run 6 miles a few times a week. Right now I am topping off at 5, I want to go up to 6. FAIL I am back down to just doing 3.5 a day Gotta up my game!

  3. Continue Clean eating. I actually did really well on this :))

  4. Clean at least one room of the house everyday so it's not a complete disaster. HAHAHAHAHAHA

  5. Complete 1200 minutes of exercise. I didn't keep up with it but I have ran Mon- Fri every week this month so I am going to say I passed this!

  6. Track how many miles I run this month. well crap!

  7. Take my kids somewhere fun instead of binge watching Netflix on the weekends. YES! We went on a spontaneous beach trip and played in the sand and mini golf it was awesome!

August goals...

I am not going to overwhelm myself this month since I am starting this teaching job and life is pretty much changing for me a lot right now!

1. Run Monday-Friday at least 3 miles push for more.
2. Do a great job at teaching (ya know to hopefully secure this gig permanently)
3. Save as much money as possible (just in case the above doesn't happen)
4. Continue clean eating  

 Yes I am going to be the Chuck Norris of teachers hahaha im totally scared to death but let's pretend

Leaps of faith

Monday, August 4, 2014

I HAVE WENT (thanks anonymous for correcting my grammar) on several interviews only to be disappointed. Remember that second grade position that opened up, and the principal told me to apply? Well I did and last Thursday I had an interview. She basically threw the interview questions to the side and said I am not going to ask you these questions I already know you know this stuff, BUT I need to see you in action.

She didn't give me the position. She told me in order for her to hire me on full time she wanted to see what I could do. She offered me two long term subbing positions to test me out so to speak. In order to take these two positions I would have to quit my job, and I would have income until November but after that well I am pretty much S.O.L.

Mike and I discussed it and I quit my job. I feel like I am going to throw up, and I am worried sick that I won't be able to provide for my children once this job ends. I start today, the very first day of school. For the next 14 weeks I have to prove to them that I can do this, and that I will be an effective teacher.

I don't know what is going to happen in the winter.... being without a job right before Christmas is terrifying me. I felt like this is what I needed to do to get my foot in the door. This is how I make my dream come true.

Faith is believing in the unknown right?

I am scared. I have never been the type of person to not have control. I make lists, I budget, I need structure and order and I just threw that out the window.

Please pray for my family and me that I am successful at this.

Scared out of my mind.

Things my kids say...

Friday, August 1, 2014

I love my children and I believe they are so smart and have the best personalities *what parent doesn't think that about their children?* Sometimes, however, they say things that leave me scratching my head.


Things my kids say

When watching Naked and Afraid there was a waterfall shot...

 Talan (8): "Why are they throwing white powder off that cliff"
I said WHAT? He pointed at the mist of the waterfall... I said ummm thats a waterfall and thats mist you goof ball.

When out to eat at a restaurant....
I noticed my son was tearing his french fries and then not eating them. I said what are you doing?
Bailey (7) These french fries have potatoes in them.
Ummm yeah thats what french fries are made of, and he then says...
Nope the french fries my daddy makes me are made out of chicken.
No son, those are just really crispy fries, they are all made out of potatoes. He still doesn't believe me.

Brock was running through the house when I heard a little fart come out... I looked at him and grinned I said was that you?
Brock (2) Yep I fart like Mike HAHAHAHA and then runs away

Bailey and I are sitting outside and out of no where...
Bailey (7) Mom, if a bee stings you did you know that you get poison ivy?

And of course when I go to post this I forget everything... I'll share one more from Bailey & next time I'll start writing this stuff down.

We had homemade quesadillas for dinner last night .
Bailey eating his tortilla... mmm this bread is good...but I ain't eating the rest of that junk because its made of vegetables.
Me: Well... technically that 'bread' you are eating is made from corn.
Bailey I love corn
Me: Good.
Bailey: Wait, corn that grows in a garden? I dont like that corn I only like the corn that comes in the freezer, and now I don't like this.

Yes sometimes my kids baffle me... please tell me your kids say ridiculous things too? When my kids do it I say they get it from their dad and their awesomeness from me :)


Don't try so hard...

Thursday, July 31, 2014

**check out the new digs! Shout out to it girl!*

I really enjoyed reading all of the posts about natural beauty and not trying so hard that Kate at The Florkens, Jackie at Jade & Oak, and Nicole at Treasure Tromp have put together, and decided to join in.

the florkens

I didn't take a fresh picture so I am going to use a few in my phone :) #lazyblogger

I absolutely love this picture... to me this is motherhood. My hair is thrown up in a pony tail and  I am not wearing any makeup and that my friends is shaving cream my 2 year old smeared all over my face when I was trying to bathe him. I love that my eyes still shine and I can see humor in silly messes. Also hello amazing cheek bones :)

I am quite silly can't you tell? This is when I was getting ready to go on my very first 5k run. Yes TMNT fo'life! I love that my smile is so big in this picture and the definition in my leg muscles is showing which took me a VERY long time to get.

And the best for last, technically the remains of the makeup from the previous night is still there but I had just woke up when I took this picture. This was the night after I met Mike for the first time. You can see the happiness in my eyes and my lips look full and beautiful. This is one of my favorite pictures of me because it was the first time in a VERY long time that I woke up happy and feeling beautiful.

PS. Im not conceited we were supposed to tell something we liked about the picture(s).

I don't drink beer.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Vodka and Soda

Happy Wednesday HOOKERS! Gah Ian just makes me drool and lose my train of thought but anyway...its time for some confessions with Kathy at Vodka & Soda, aka, the funniest day in blogland.

Today's confession I don't drink beer...wait don't click that red X yet...I really want to be in the cool kids club and drink beer, but I haven't found one that I like. However, this weekend changed that.

Friday night we went to see Big Smo in concert... aka redneckville but I was loving the beards and big trucks.
Someone buy me this truck!

new phone takes shitty pics sorry

My man shaved his beard no beuno!
Before we went to the concert  we went to Railroad Brewing Co. I was like okay this is a brewing co. I will definitely find a beer I like here right?

I ordered this, I don't remember what it was called but the man said it was chocolate something...hello gimme some of that.

I confess I spit this beer all over the tasted like Worcestershire sauce... and that my friends is not chocolate!

We then ordered the sampler....
I found ONE that I liked and it was a honey mead but I only sipped it because at this point I just wanted to eat and go to the concert.

I ordered the Shrimp Po Boy... it did not wow me and I was kind of sad.

I confess I got serious food envy when my brother's adult grilled cheese came out and I ended up eating his food instead of mine. Hi I am five!

Saturday was a whole different story.. Mike came home with this beer as a last effort to find one that I liked because let's face it mixed drinks are expensive!
This was delicious and here are some real confessions as a result of Wild Blue.

  • I got completely drunk off of a total of 3 beers.
  • I told Mikes best friend that I was going to kick his ass.
  • I fell asleep at the table holding a peanut butter sandwhich
  • I then fell asleep in the bathroom floor and Idk even remember going in there.
  • I kicked a hole in the wall.
  • I lost my phone.
  • I got up the next morning with the worst hangover ever and was in need of some greasy food...I confess I ate an omelet, hashbrowns all the way, toast, cheese grits, and a hamburger.
  • I clearly don't need to drink beer.


Tuesday, July 29, 2014

I used this over at Ashley's blog A Faithful Passion, but I couldnt think of anything to post today so...

I am about 99% sure we all do it...well I don't know if guys do it. I dont think I can see a guy checking out another guy thinking, damn I wish I looked like that lol. I bet they do but would never admit it haha. I am very bad about this and it is something that I am working hard to change. I remember when I was in college I would scope out the girls and compare myself to them. Do I look like that, do I look worse, etc. By tearing them down (mentally) I called myself building my own confidence up. This was a false theory. Comparing myself to other women both smaller and larger only made me criticize myself more. I criticized my clothes, my weight, my hair, my makeup, everything. Always wanting something I didn't have rather than focusing on the good qualities of myself. I got off so to speak on my own self hate. I often wondered if other people did this to. Do you ever look at someone and think man I wish I looked like her? I wish I could afford clothes like that? Then it would turn really ugly. "Ugh she probably let's mommy and daddy pay for everything" "She probably lives off celery and water" None of these things were probably true, and I was just giving these girls hell because I was unhappy with my own body. Criticizing others in my head wasn't helping anything, I didn't instantly get thinner, I didn't instantly have a new wardrobe, my hair didn't instantly become all shiny and beautiful.

Then I thought, if I am doing it to others, are others doing it to me? Do I have something they want? Are they mentally hating on me for no reason at all?

This is an unhealthy state of mind ladies? Instead of focusing on the negative we need to focus on the positive. We need to build each other up and learn self love. How can you expect someone else to love you when you don't even love you?

I decided I wanted to change my way of life. I decided every morning I would say some daily affirmation and make it happen. I wanted to focus on falling in love with myself. At this time I was at my heaviest weight but I vowed to look myself in the mirror and say something I loved about myself every day. At first I loved my personality, then Id say I loved my eyes, my mothering skills, etc. It was then when I decided I needed to dig deeper, I needed to change the things I didn't like about myself so I had more to say in that mirror every morning.

Eventually I started saying I love my endurance, my will power, my strength, the definition in my legs, etc. In just a matter of a few months I realized I was no longer comparing myself to other women (okay I still lust after their fashion at times) and I wasn't hating people I didn't even know.

Today I challenge you to name 5 things you really love about yourself, and give one stranger a random compliment. If you see a mother at her wits end with screaming kids at the store, give her a pat on the shoulder tell her shes doing a great job. See someone at the gym tell them you admire their hard work. If they're doing something you 'wished' you could do, ask for advice.

Today I love:
1. That I lost 4.5 lbs this week.
2. I feel at peace about my job situation.
3.Im not peeling anymore *sunburn*
4. My makeup looks great.
5. Im genuinely happy.

Now its your turn, tell me 5 things you love about yourself today. If you find that naming 5 things is too hard then it's something you need to work on. Its easier to compare and criticize...take the harder path and love yourself.

Doors closing...

Monday, July 28, 2014

  Well, the job interview I went on that I felt went fantastic did not result in my dream job. However, the principal said that I was second on the list and I definitely wowed her in my interview but  the board ultimately chose someone with more experience. I don't understand how you are supposed to gain experience if no one will hire you. When I got that phone call the other day it rocked me to my core. I cried for hours AT WORK which made me feel selfish but that was my dream. When she told me that I wasn't picked it felt like someone punched me in my stomach. Dramatic yeah...but no less real. I was truly devastated.

My bosses obviously knew that it was something that meant a lot to me and when they come back from lunch that day they kind of offered me a raise. Basically for each deal done successfully I will get extra money on my paycheck. We have had 10 successful deals this month so thats extra cash money for me. I truly appreciate their thoughtfulness, and I still feel selfish for being bummed out about the other job.

I called my mom crying and she was like its one door closing but it doesn't mean others wont open up. I really freakin hate that saying...seriously!

However, as I was on my way home the assistant texted me and said they just had another resignation to be on the look out for that job opening. Today (7-25) the principal emailed me and told me my interview was a pleasure and to please keep applying. I felt like she was giving me a hint so I checked the website, and sure enough there was the job posting. I applied but I am not expecting anything.

I can't get that excited again because that rejection hurt worse than any break up I'd ever experienced. All I can do is try my best at whatever it is I'm doing. So yeah, technically that door slammed in my face, but I got a raise and there's another opportunity knocking.

This my friends is a much better statement. I can't dwell on the opportunities that didn't work out in my favor because I could be bypassing several others that I am too distracted to see. My numerous attempts at job interviews doesn't mean I am a failure, it just means that it isn't my place yet. I have no doubt in my mind that I WILL be a's just on a more difficult path than I thought. That's okay though because the scenery on my way is something not to be taken for granted. I'm growing more confident in my interview answers, I am gaining experience in talking about my teaching methods, I am learning a lot about a different field in my current job. I'll get there eventually but it's finally okay that I am not there right now.

Drawing inspiration...

Friday, July 25, 2014

JVKom Chronicles

I love Jen's link ups they keep me accountable and Ive missed the last 3 of these!

So let's make up for that shall we? Today's topic is:

  'what is your favorite place that you draw inspiration from. It could be a certain person, a program, a reason you do it, a place, the list goes on and on.'

I have a lot of things I draw inspiration from. Sometimes I let the road inspire me, to see a long open road energizes me and inspires me to just keep going.

Sometimes my own journey inspires me, I never see how far I have left, I always draw inspiration on how far I've come, how much I've changed, how much stronger I am than I was 2 years ago.

Sometimes my boyfriend inspires me. He doesn't let me make excuses and he always pushes me to go harder even when I don't want to. I remember one month I had just given up. I wouldn't work out and I was eating like crap. I said Ugh I feel like shit and he looked at me and said why don't you go for a run and then tell me how you feel. I was pissed I (being an irrational female) assumed he was calling me fat. I laced up my shoes and stormed out the door. I ran, and I ran hard. When I got back I felt much better...he pushed me to make me feel better.

Sometimes my kids inspire me, they have so much energy and are carefree and truly enjoy being outside and soaking up the sun. I want that too.

Other bloggers inspire me more than they'll ever know.

Pinterest inspires me to try new things.

There is a world of inspiration out there..go find you some!

A day in the life...

Thursday, July 24, 2014

I have seen a few of these posts lately, and I havent scheduled anything for today, so I am going to share my day with all of you... yeah Im super excited about it too. You're welcome ;) jk!

4am: My alarm goes off.. this is what time I need to get up so I can run and then get some things done around the house before work.

Psh F that noise I roll over and set my clock for 5am because well who cares if the laundry doesnt get done one more day, its been sitting in the dryer for 3 days anyway.

5am Alarm goes off and I actually get up this time and I frantically go searching for my workout clothes. You'd think that I would lay them beside the bed or something after all this time but nope.

5:10-6:00 Running around the neighborhood. It looks a little something like this, running and I have a love hate relationship.

6:00- 6:15 Shower ... usually it only takes me a few minutes because I go a day or two without washing my hair I dont just stand there and procrastinate but some days....

6:15- 6:30 I throw my hair up in a messy bun, slap some eye liner on and get dressed. I pull the first thing I see out of the closet and thats what I wear. I dont have time to be a fashionista in the mornings!

6:30- 6:45 I tip toe around the kitchen and prepare my lunch and try to make my breakfast without waking the kids up. This week I have been extra productive because I actually planned my meals ahead of time. Breakfast was an egg white omelet bake I made Tuesday and have been eating on all week (it made 4 servings) and lunch is leftovers from the night before. This morning I decided to go ahead and stick dinner in the oven so all I would have to do is heat it up when I get home tonight BOOM!

6:45 Time to get the kids up... my oldest gets up really easy hes ready to play that damn playstation as soon as his eyes are open.. Jokes on you homie I dont wake you up in time for you to play anymore in the mornings LOL. However, my 2 year old is like his mama and we crave sleep so getting him up is like this...

7:00 we're out the door, I drop the kids off at daycare and sitters and I head to work!

7:45 Walk in to work make the bosses coffee and turn on my computer. Check emails and then log on to blog lovin.... got blogs to read DUH!

8:00-10:30 Do random things the boss asks me to do but mostly read blogs and answer emails.

10:30 Im starving give me a protein shake.. I am really OCD about the times I eat too... I eat at 6:40, 10:30, 12:00, 3:00, and 6:30 and this doesn't change. I know that's weird!

10:40- 12:00 More work and then HEY lunch time!

I never take a lunch break.. however here lately I have because of THIS but usually Im just sitting at my desk stuffing my face.

12:30- 3:00 more work stuff. internets and wanting a nap.. oh and snack time! My life revolves around food I am a sad human.

3:00-4:30 Desperately watching the clock praying for 5:00 to hurry up!
4:30-5:00 Clean the office and scurry out to my car!

Not really I have kids so I pick them up and head home, but sometimes I think about stopping at the bar. *sighs*

5:40-6:30 Prepare Dinner/ EAT

6:45-7:00 get kids bathed and in bed. Yes my children have a 7:00 bed time and they are fine with it, in fact little man can barely keep his eyes open by 6:50.

7:00-9:00 Watch TV, Spend QT with my man, bubble bath then bed.

My life isn't very exciting but at the end of the day Im beat and extra ready for bed. I miss all those naps I didnt want in Kindergarten!

Confess Sesh....

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Vodka and Soda
I usually have this post up well in advance but I have been preoccupied lately so you're about to get some randomness straight out of my head.. winging it yo!

First and foremost thank you to everyone who wished me well yesterday about the job interview...I confess I THINK I ROCKED IT! I should know something by Thursday afternoon. Before I left I said, thank you and I hope to hear from you and the principal said you will... so that's gotta be good right?

I confess I may have done a dance like this when I got back to my car LOL

I confess I felt like a total bitch yesterday :( I have kind of been a C word to my boyfriend lately, blame it on life stresses I guess. However when I got home yesterday he had me a brand new phone sitting on the counter. I shattered mine a few months back and have been complaining about it a lot. Yeah bad girlfriend award goes to me!

I confess I lose and gain 3 lbs every freaking week I clean eat and work out Monday - Friday.... I dont know what happens on Saturday and Sunday Im just like give me all the foods and give me all the naps and give me all the Netflix. I suck.

I'm maintaining and I am happy with my weight so win win right? No.. Okay going to put myself in time out.

Anyway I can't think of much else so Im going to stop now :) What are you confessing this week?

2 weeks

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

School starts in a little over 2 weeks (I can hear all the parents applauding now) lol. I have went on several interviews for a teaching position over the summer. None of which resulted in a job. However, there is one school that is my dream job, its the one I have known I wanted to work at since I graduated college. I have applied for several positions at the school but haven't gotten an interview. Yesterday, that dream job called me and I have an interview this afternoon. I believe there are three other candidates applying and mine is the last interview.

Before all of my other interviews I have been extremely nervous and unsure of myself. This time feels different, this time I am excited. This is where I want to be and I am looking forward to the interview. I interned at this school and I absolutely love it. I know most of the staff and they already feel like family. The woman that called me formally for the interview actually texted me later last night with some tips. (I taught her daughter at my last job).

Today I will be refreshing over my classroom management and reading lessons. I have no doubt in my mind that I am going to rock this interview. I really don't want to get my hopes up though because like I said THIS is my dream job at my dream school and I really want to shine and get this job.

Any positive thoughts you can send my way would be much appreciated.

I don't know what I have done wrong in my interviews in the past other than I was super nervous that has to be my downfall because I dont exude confidence. Today I am going to try and change that, I KNOW I am a good teacher and I KNOW I am a perfect fit for the job, but I've got to make others know it too.

Here's to this NOT being me today!

So we went to court

Monday, July 21, 2014

If you're new here my story is here, here, and here so this is really like part 4. I left off telling you all that we had court and my ex-husband was facing jail time. Since February he and I were getting along for the boys' sake and he started paying me child support. Can I just go ahead and say that a leopard doesn't change his spots or whatever that saying is? Anyway I'm ahead of myself. I wrote a letter to the judge requesting that he did not get any jail time for the sake of his three children, however I did not wish to drop the charges.

I don't exactly know what happened other than my wishes were not met. We showed up to court the judge said he had to pay some fines and when the fines were paid off the charges were dismissed. WHAT THE F%^*?! I didn't want the charges dropped I wanted that stuff to be on his record. I wanted that to follow him the way it follows me.

Guess what happened after that? Yeah no more child support. *eye roll* I knew he was only doing what he had to, to avoid jail time and not because he was really trying to change. So this my friends makes the 19858709340685983 time he has manipulated me into doing exactly what he wants. Why am I so freakin stupid?

I guess I could have said something to the judge I could have made a big scene but I didn't. I walked out of the court room, went right next door and got my pistol permit. I also have a brand new shiny (PINK) 380 to go along with it. I obviously can't rely on the law to protect me.  As long as they're getting money well I guess F anyone else.

Now Im not sure where to go from here. I don't want to keep my sons from seeing their father bc last time that only ended badly for me with a very heartbroken seven year old. However every time said seven year old comes home he tells me something that makes me want to go absolutely mama bear on the idiots that reside at my previous home. I look back at the last 10 years and I think to myself REALLY? That is the life you chose? I am forever thankful for my boys and they are the 2 wonderful blessings that came from that relationship, but if I could still have my kids and do it all over again boy would I have avoided his ass like the black plague.

I thought that this would be the end. I thought that justice would be served and I would feel like I was finally stronger than him but that didn't happen. He played me just like all the other times before and I'm left angry and bitter about it.

I have to get past this place. I have to quit seeking revenge and seek forgiveness. I have to move on with my life and figure out  a way to make it a healthy environment for the boys.

I really just dont know where to go from here. I wish it was an easy break and I would never have to see or hear from him again but we have children together which means from now on I will have to deal with him.

I guess I need to declare this moment on my starting over point. No more looking back and letting my past haunt me. I have a bright future I have wonderful kids and I will not let that evil bring me down any more.

The justice in all this is that I don't need to see him unhappy to feel happy. I dont need to seek revenge. I am in a good place in my life. Overcoming the chains that have held me down for so long is justice in itself.

I am finally free... because I am happy..I am strong... I am no longer allowing hate in my heart.

The Blogmopolitan Quiz

Saturday, July 19, 2014

             This looked like a lot of fun... download yours here and link up here.

SVU in real life?

Friday, July 18, 2014

 The SVU story is way on down bare with me

I went to the beach TWO weeks ago, and I had every intention of staying on track while I was down there, I even attempted running on the beach hungover and sickly feeling was not the best idea however I ended up staying up too late, drinking all the drinks, and eating all the foods. It's hard to stay on track when you're in paradise, I'm just sayin'

I had every intention on jumping back on that wagon the Monday we returned home. I didn't. Guess what I didn't workout one single time that entire week, and I definitely threw clean eating out the window. I also smoked A LOT... I'm doing better but haven't completely quit yet. Someone throw a brick at me :(

I learned something though, every thing we do comes with a lesson right? That entire week that I didn't do a damn thing; I felt sluggish, irritable, and incredibly sleepy. I caught myself nodding off at my desk and wanting to go to bed at 8pm. I also was craving any and all junk food I could get my hands on. I also gained 4lbs... got anymore of those bricks?

However I had my very first smore and I don't regret that
However this week I told myself I wasn't going to fall into that slump where I'll start Monday became next Monday and then the Monday after that. I couldn't let myself fall back into old habits and undo all the hard work I've done. Thanks to an amazing friend Jen @ JVKom Chronicles  who has helped me so much over the past couple of months told me that she was expecting a full check in on Tuesday. I just couldn't let her down y'all. So Monday morning I hit the pavement, and it wasn't easy. Taking almost 2 weeks off really kills your pace, well it does mine anyway. Just as expected Jen tweeted me wanting the report...isn't she freaking awesome?

Tuesday morning when I woke up and it was raining, perfect excuse to sleep in and not run... Jen wasn't having it LOL
I ended up telling her I would do 2 days worth of Couch to 5k instead on the next day. However the more I thought about it the guiltier I felt. The rain stopped, I was in the middle of cooking dinner and I ran and put my shoes on, told the guys to watch the food and ran. It felt AWESOME!

Okay now I have some scary stuff to tell you ladies and it's definitely opened my eyes (and ears). I run at 5am, alone, and it's still dark. I run around my neighborhood so Im never too far from home. I started my run, headphones in, and really getting into it. As I was running I saw someone in the corner of my eye. A group of girls was trying to get my attention so I stopped.  One of the crossfitters said "hey do you know those guys back there", I turned around. What guys? She said "there were two big guys following you while you were running and when we came around the corner they ran off."

Insert panic. This made me think some real life SVU shit may have went down.

Thank God for those crossfit girls or I could have been hurt, raped, killed, idk but its really scary. From now on I will run with one headphone out and the volume as low as I can get it. I will be weary of my surroundings even if Ive ran that path 9000 times before. I'm thinking about taking my .380 with me but Idk where to put it. It would kind of be difficult to run with a gun in my bra thats where my phone is.


Someone on facebook showed me this though and I am so tempted to buy it, in fact I contacted the company to ask to review it. Anyways ladies be careful out there and be aware of you surroundings!

One last thing and I swear I'll shut up. Have you seen my #trackthetank page up there. I am so excited about this fun journey 26 bloggers and myself are taking part of, and theres something in it for you..please head over there and check it out!

How do you stay on track?
Ever had a SVU scare?

Welcome to the brook....

Thursday, July 17, 2014

This is where I call home. Its not very big and everyone knows everyone and the saying is true. Everyone dies famous in a small town. I talk alot about wanting to travel and visit new places but this is my home and I never really want to move away. It's nice to visit other places but home is where the heart is.

The Brook (see Im saying that in case someone googles the actual city name and finds my blog and then yeah it would just be drama so The Brook it is) what can I say about it. Its extremely small we have a Walmart, some gas stations, a tractor supply store, and a few parks. It takes about 10 minutes to get from point A to point B in any which direction.

Home of the Mustangs... this is my high school... surprisingly for such a small town we have a lot of schools. There's an elementary school K-2, intermediate school 3-4, middle school 5-6, jr. high 7-8 and then the high school 9-12. The very first school I went to was about a mile from my house, that is where I decided my future, because 5 year olds are capable of that, to become a teacher. Its funny almost 22 years later I worked at that very school even though its a daycare now.

If you were to visit my home town you're sure to get a friendly wave while driving down the road, you may get stuck behind a tractor but he will eventually pull over, you'll pass the farmers market and  a feed store. You'll smell some of the best bbq you've ever had at  the Smoke House...its been there for years my mom worked there as a teenager. If you go to the park you'll see kids barefoot in the creek more than the actual playground equipment. You simply must get some ice cream from the old fashioned ice cream truck that drives around.

If you want some drinks and a night out well you have 2 choices and they're owned by the same person. Mulligans and Dooleys. Mulligans has your older crowd but everyone comes here anyway and when we leave there we go to Dooleys to shoot pool and dance on the bar Coyote Ugly style.

Once you leave there you're going to be starving because its usually 3am... we always stop at the Kwik Shop for some pizza....truth-- its better than Pizza Hut any day and its open 24 hours.

Bar life not your style, thats okay travel a little further and you will have a hell of a time mud riding down at the creek (not the one by the park of course).

Or a nice night at home in the man cave drinking a few cold ones with amazing friends shooting pool

We're just a small town full of good hearted people that know how to have a good time.

It may not be big and fancy but its home and it doesnt get any better than this :)

If you're ever planning on moving here read THIS ARTICLE and I'll address some of these things.

#3. Yes you will get asked this no matter the situation, the last question at the interview for my current job was who do you go for. Alabama of course #Rolltide
#4 Fried Green tomatoes are delicious.
#6 Bless your heart can actually be an insult.
#9 Grits... grits are amazing add some cheese and bacon and call it breakfast YUM!
#10 I dont care if you're 6 months older than me or 60 you will hear me say yes/no ma'am/sir
#12 I actually didnt know Forest Gump wasn't a real person LOL
#15 Lake life here is the equivalent to Salt life... its amazing! Oh and every single boater will wave and 'holler' at you when you pass #hospitality y'all
#22 We're sophisticated too... Alabama Shakespeare Festival is pretty amazing.