I used this over at Ashley's blog A Faithful Passion, but I couldnt think of anything to post today so...
I am about 99% sure we all do it...well I don't know if guys do it. I dont think I can see a guy checking out another guy thinking, damn I wish I looked like that lol. I bet they do but would never admit it haha. I am very bad about this and it is something that I am working hard to change. I remember when I was in college I would scope out the girls and compare myself to them. Do I look like that, do I look worse, etc. By tearing them down (mentally) I called myself building my own confidence up. This was a false theory. Comparing myself to other women both smaller and larger only made me criticize myself more. I criticized my clothes, my weight, my hair, my makeup, everything. Always wanting something I didn't have rather than focusing on the good qualities of myself. I got off so to speak on my own self hate. I often wondered if other people did this to. Do you ever look at someone and think man I wish I looked like her? I wish I could afford clothes like that? Then it would turn really ugly. "Ugh she probably let's mommy and daddy pay for everything" "She probably lives off celery and water" None of these things were probably true, and I was just giving these girls hell because I was unhappy with my own body. Criticizing others in my head wasn't helping anything, I didn't instantly get thinner, I didn't instantly have a new wardrobe, my hair didn't instantly become all shiny and beautiful.
Then I thought, if I am doing it to others, are others doing it to me? Do I have something they want? Are they mentally hating on me for no reason at all?
This is an unhealthy state of mind ladies? Instead of focusing on the negative we need to focus on the positive. We need to build each other up and learn self love. How can you expect someone else to love you when you don't even love you?
I decided I wanted to change my way of life. I decided every morning I would say some daily affirmation and make it happen. I wanted to focus on falling in love with myself. At this time I was at my heaviest weight but I vowed to look myself in the mirror and say something I loved about myself every day. At first I loved my personality, then Id say I loved my eyes, my mothering skills, etc. It was then when I decided I needed to dig deeper, I needed to change the things I didn't like about myself so I had more to say in that mirror every morning.
Eventually I started saying I love my endurance, my will power, my strength, the definition in my legs, etc. In just a matter of a few months I realized I was no longer comparing myself to other women (okay I still lust after their fashion at times) and I wasn't hating people I didn't even know.
Today I challenge you to name 5 things you really love about yourself, and give one stranger a random compliment. If you see a mother at her wits end with screaming kids at the store, give her a pat on the shoulder tell her shes doing a great job. See someone at the gym tell them you admire their hard work. If they're doing something you 'wished' you could do, ask for advice.
Today I love:
1. That I lost 4.5 lbs this week.
2. I feel at peace about my job situation.
3.Im not peeling anymore *sunburn*
4. My makeup looks great.
5. Im genuinely happy.
Now its your turn, tell me 5 things you love about yourself today. If you find that naming 5 things is too hard then it's something you need to work on. Its easier to compare and criticize...take the harder path and love yourself.