That time I forgot how to ADULT

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....
Allieology
Hmm do I really want to share this? It really is my most embarrassing moment yet eh F it it made for a laugh later on.

In February I had some surgery and once I got home I was all kinds of delirious because of heaven candy pain pills. Hey Valium and Tabs you really had me in some crazy dimension of life but the sleep, oh the sleep was glorious.

Anyway one night I was feeling a lot of pain and decided to take more than the recommended dosage take my meds and call it a night.

I remember having the strangest dreams I was all over the place and then I was in a bar and I had to pee really bad... do you see where this is going?

In my dream I peed for like half an hour and by the time I was done everyone had left me at the bar.

Suddenly I woke up because I had to pee...ya know thats what adults do their bodies tell them they have to pee and they wake up to go do said peeing.

When I went to get up out of the bed the entire bed was soaking wet. I was like WTF I looked over at my boyfriend, did he seriously fuckin pee the bed? Uhm no he was sleeping soundly all dry the enormous pee spot was from me.

I quickly went to the bathroom, peed again, what the hell? I then took a shower dreading waking my man up to tell him Hey get up I have to change the sheets because I forgot how to adult. I woke him up tears streaming down my face I said Mike you have to wake up now. Hes all like what why whats wrong its 2am. Im all like ya know the usual I pissed all in the bed now I need you to get up. He busted out laughing, ripped the sheets off the bed, and returned to his slumber.

I, on the other hand, laid there trying to keep from this happening again...
I was mortified and in pain and in utter shock that I had just peed in the bed that I share with my boyfriend. I mean how long on the dating time line is this acceptable? NEVER?!

Moral of this story, dont take pain pills together and then go to sleep... you'll piss your pants.

Hey I can link up with Kathy too YAY for confessions.



Vodka and Soda

28 comments

  1. Thanks for the laugh! I love when people share true life stories! I did something similar when I was about 16, down to the dream and everything, only I woke up mid pee and just decided to finish. Yea. Living on the edge.

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  2. OMG!! hahah I would die :p

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  3. Hey Brittney!!! OMFG I LOVE this story!! Its actually really sweet lol, in a good way!! :) I'm sure all adults have a funny little story about bodily functions going wrong! haha Plus you were on happy pills lol. :P Thanks for sharing girly!! XOXO

    Lisa,xo

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  4. hahah omg I love this. I've peed in my pants once. I was literally a few steps from the bathroom. I just couldn't make it. hhaah

    This reminds me of a buzzfeed article I read the other week. This lady was on pain pills and got constipation (pain pills cause that sometimes I guess). So after she was done with her pain pills, her boyfriend gave her a laxative drink and nothing happened.... until the middle of the night when she sh*t the bed. Her boyfriend was asleep right next to her. haha I would have probably died of embarrassment.

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  5. Hahaha... Pain pills will make all sorts of bad things happen.

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  6. LOL sometimes it happens....what can you do?! He seemed pretty cool about it at least!

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  7. Haha omg this is hilarious! Definitely a story worth telling!

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  8. Bahahha.. that is the absolute best story ever. I'm going to start using "I forgot how to adult" all the time for all the things. It's the best!

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  9. My friend Amy did that when she was pregnant and called me at like 2am, crying asking me what to do. I told her to change her pants and convince her boyfriend that he had wet the bed. She did. And it worked!!

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  10. Aw this isn't embarrassing girl, this is actually kind of funny... you couldn't help it! Pain pills definitely bring out the crazy ass dreams.

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  11. This story had me laughing hysterically!! At least your boyfriend took it well! :)

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  12. I couldn't help but laugh at this - its one of my worst nightmares! Thankfully I always wake myself up, but if I ever get some good drugs after surgery I'll make sure to wear Depends! hahahha

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  13. Bahahahaha omg I felt so bad laughing so hard reading this. I feel like this would have definitely happened to me if I were on pain pills!

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  14. Ughh that is the worst!! At least your BF was understanding about it! :)

    Brianna
    http://keepingupwiththekeens2428.blogspot.com/

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  15. That has to be the worst but at least you woke up and realized it instead of getting up to go pee and going back to sleep. j/s

    http://nightowlventing02.blogspot.com/2014/07/hump-day-confessions_9.html

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  16. Haha don't worry girl! I've totally had that happen to me too while pain killers lol

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  17. Aww blame it on the meds! I think a lot of drink people do the same thing ;-)

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  18. Love the "I am the Master of my own Bladder".. lol great episode!

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  19. This almost makes me want to share my pee the bed story ;) Glad you were able to find the humor in that situation!

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  20. OMG I felt so bad for you reading that but at least he was a typical guy about - unphased by it all :)

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  21. Ive done that before... where Ive peed in my dream and woken up to a soaked bed. Now I am so paranoid about it I get up and pee at least twice before I let myself fall asleep. JUST IN CASE! :) thanks for sharing this story, its hilarious.

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  22. hahahaha! that kind of happened to me once except instead of piss, it was shit. that's right, i shit my pants. as in i woke up from a vicodin induced stupor and found a giant turd in my pants. thank god i was alone!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  23. Oh wow! Glad he didn't make you feel bad about it!

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  24. I can totally understand about the pain pills! When I had my surgery I was high off em!

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  25. HAHAHAHAHA! That's an awesome story, at least he was cool about it!

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  26. Bahahha that is an amazing story. I mean horrified is probably the exact reaction I would have had too. At least you had pain killers to blame. I had someone do that on my couch in a drunken stuper. The cushions were dripping with pee and the girl didn't even remember it in the morning. That was a fun conversation.

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  27. Lmao! Definitely a great story to read in the morning! I always have those dreams of using the bathroom and then I wake up and start panicking thinking that I did it in my sleep!

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  28. Omg, this post cracked me up, Chica. For a much well needed laugh. Thanks for sharing!!!

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