Don't try so hard...

**check out the new digs! Shout out to Natalie...love it girl!*

I really enjoyed reading all of the posts about natural beauty and not trying so hard that Kate at The Florkens, Jackie at Jade & Oak, and Nicole at Treasure Tromp have put together, and decided to join in.

I didn't take a fresh picture so I am going to use a few in my phone :) #lazyblogger

I absolutely love this picture... to me this is motherhood. My hair is thrown up in a pony tail and  I am not wearing any makeup and that my friends is shaving cream my 2 year old smeared all over my face when I was trying to bathe him. I love that my eyes still shine and I can see humor in silly messes. Also hello amazing cheek bones :)

I am quite silly can't you tell? This is when I was getting ready to go on my very first 5k run. Yes TMNT fo'life! I love that my smile is so big in this picture and the definition in my leg muscles is showing which took me a VERY long time to get.

And the best for last, technically the remains of the makeup from the previous night is still there but I had just woke up when I took this picture. This was the night after I met Mike for the first time. You can see the happiness in my eyes and my lips look full and beautiful. This is one of my favorite pictures of me because it was the first time in a VERY long time that I woke up happy and feeling beautiful.

PS. Im not conceited we were supposed to tell something we liked about the picture(s).

I don't drink beer.

Happy Wednesday HOOKERS! Gah Ian just makes me drool and lose my train of thought but anyway...its time for some confessions with Kathy at Vodka & Soda, aka, the funniest day in blogland.

Today's confession I don't drink beer...wait don't click that red X yet...I really want to be in the cool kids club and drink beer, but I haven't found one that I like. However, this weekend changed that.

Friday night we went to see Big Smo in concert... aka redneckville but I was loving the beards and big trucks.

Someone buy me this truck!

new phone takes shitty pics sorry

My man shaved his beard no beuno!

Before we went to the concert  we went to Railroad Brewing Co. I was like okay this is a brewing co. I will definitely find a beer I like here right?

I ordered this, I don't remember what it was called but the man said it was chocolate something...hello gimme some of that.

I confess I spit this beer all over the table..it tasted like Worcestershire sauce... and that my friends is not chocolate!

We then ordered the sampler....

I found ONE that I liked and it was a honey mead but I only sipped it because at this point I just wanted to eat and go to the concert.

I ordered the Shrimp Po Boy... it did not wow me and I was kind of sad.

I confess I got serious food envy when my brother's adult grilled cheese came out and I ended up eating his food instead of mine. Hi I am five!

Saturday was a whole different story.. Mike came home with this beer as a last effort to find one that I liked because let's face it mixed drinks are expensive!

This was delicious and here are some real confessions as a result of Wild Blue.

• I got completely drunk off of a total of 3 beers.
• I told Mikes best friend that I was going to kick his ass.
• I fell asleep at the table holding a peanut butter sandwhich
• I then fell asleep in the bathroom floor and Idk even remember going in there.
• I kicked a hole in the wall.
• I lost my phone.
• I got up the next morning with the worst hangover ever and was in need of some greasy food...I confess I ate an omelet, hashbrowns all the way, toast, cheese grits, and a hamburger.
• I clearly don't need to drink beer.

Comparisons

I used this over at Ashley's blog A Faithful Passion, but I couldnt think of anything to post today so...


I am about 99% sure we all do it...well I don't know if guys do it. I dont think I can see a guy checking out another guy thinking, damn I wish I looked like that lol. I bet they do but would never admit it haha. I am very bad about this and it is something that I am working hard to change. I remember when I was in college I would scope out the girls and compare myself to them. Do I look like that, do I look worse, etc. By tearing them down (mentally) I called myself building my own confidence up. This was a false theory. Comparing myself to other women both smaller and larger only made me criticize myself more. I criticized my clothes, my weight, my hair, my makeup, everything. Always wanting something I didn't have rather than focusing on the good qualities of myself. I got off so to speak on my own self hate. I often wondered if other people did this to. Do you ever look at someone and think man I wish I looked like her? I wish I could afford clothes like that? Then it would turn really ugly. "Ugh she probably let's mommy and daddy pay for everything" "She probably lives off celery and water" None of these things were probably true, and I was just giving these girls hell because I was unhappy with my own body. Criticizing others in my head wasn't helping anything, I didn't instantly get thinner, I didn't instantly have a new wardrobe, my hair didn't instantly become all shiny and beautiful.

Then I thought, if I am doing it to others, are others doing it to me? Do I have something they want? Are they mentally hating on me for no reason at all?

This is an unhealthy state of mind ladies? Instead of focusing on the negative we need to focus on the positive. We need to build each other up and learn self love. How can you expect someone else to love you when you don't even love you?

I decided I wanted to change my way of life. I decided every morning I would say some daily affirmation and make it happen. I wanted to focus on falling in love with myself. At this time I was at my heaviest weight but I vowed to look myself in the mirror and say something I loved about myself every day. At first I loved my personality, then Id say I loved my eyes, my mothering skills, etc. It was then when I decided I needed to dig deeper, I needed to change the things I didn't like about myself so I had more to say in that mirror every morning.

Eventually I started saying I love my endurance, my will power, my strength, the definition in my legs, etc. In just a matter of a few months I realized I was no longer comparing myself to other women (okay I still lust after their fashion at times) and I wasn't hating people I didn't even know.

Today I challenge you to name 5 things you really love about yourself, and give one stranger a random compliment. If you see a mother at her wits end with screaming kids at the store, give her a pat on the shoulder tell her shes doing a great job. See someone at the gym tell them you admire their hard work. If they're doing something you 'wished' you could do, ask for advice.



Today I love:
1. That I lost 4.5 lbs this week.
2. I feel at peace about my job situation.
3.Im not peeling anymore *sunburn*
4. My makeup looks great.
5. Im genuinely happy.

Now its your turn, tell me 5 things you love about yourself today. If you find that naming 5 things is too hard then it's something you need to work on. Its easier to compare and criticize...take the harder path and love yourself.

Doors closing...

  Well, the job interview I went on that I felt went fantastic did not result in my dream job. However, the principal said that I was second on the list and I definitely wowed her in my interview but  the board ultimately chose someone with more experience. I don't understand how you are supposed to gain experience if no one will hire you. When I got that phone call the other day it rocked me to my core. I cried for hours AT WORK which made me feel selfish but that was my dream. When she told me that I wasn't picked it felt like someone punched me in my stomach. Dramatic yeah...but no less real. I was truly devastated.

My bosses obviously knew that it was something that meant a lot to me and when they come back from lunch that day they kind of offered me a raise. Basically for each deal done successfully I will get extra money on my paycheck. We have had 10 successful deals this month so thats extra cash money for me. I truly appreciate their thoughtfulness, and I still feel selfish for being bummed out about the other job.

I called my mom crying and she was like its one door closing but it doesn't mean others wont open up. I really freakin hate that saying...seriously!

However, as I was on my way home the assistant texted me and said they just had another resignation to be on the look out for that job opening. Today (7-25) the principal emailed me and told me my interview was a pleasure and to please keep applying. I felt like she was giving me a hint so I checked the website, and sure enough there was the job posting. I applied but I am not expecting anything.

I can't get that excited again because that rejection hurt worse than any break up I'd ever experienced. All I can do is try my best at whatever it is I'm doing. So yeah, technically that door slammed in my face, but I got a raise and there's another opportunity knocking.

source

This my friends is a much better statement. I can't dwell on the opportunities that didn't work out in my favor because I could be bypassing several others that I am too distracted to see. My numerous attempts at job interviews doesn't mean I am a failure, it just means that it isn't my place yet. I have no doubt in my mind that I WILL be a teacher...it's just on a more difficult path than I thought. That's okay though because the scenery on my way is something not to be taken for granted. I'm growing more confident in my interview answers, I am gaining experience in talking about my teaching methods, I am learning a lot about a different field in my current job. I'll get there eventually but it's finally okay that I am not there right now.

Drawing inspiration...

I love Jen's link ups they keep me accountable and Ive missed the last 3 of these!

So let's make up for that shall we? Today's topic is:

  'what is your favorite place that you draw inspiration from. It could be a certain person, a program, a reason you do it, a place, the list goes on and on.'

I have a lot of things I draw inspiration from. Sometimes I let the road inspire me, to see a long open road energizes me and inspires me to just keep going.

Sometimes my own journey inspires me, I never see how far I have left, I always draw inspiration on how far I've come, how much I've changed, how much stronger I am than I was 2 years ago.

Sometimes my boyfriend inspires me. He doesn't let me make excuses and he always pushes me to go harder even when I don't want to. I remember one month I had just given up. I wouldn't work out and I was eating like crap. I said Ugh I feel like shit and he looked at me and said why don't you go for a run and then tell me how you feel. I was pissed I (being an irrational female) assumed he was calling me fat. I laced up my shoes and stormed out the door. I ran, and I ran hard. When I got back I felt much better...he pushed me to make me feel better.

Sometimes my kids inspire me, they have so much energy and are carefree and truly enjoy being outside and soaking up the sun. I want that too.

Other bloggers inspire me more than they'll ever know.

Pinterest inspires me to try new things.

There is a world of inspiration out there..go find you some!

A day in the life...

I have seen a few of these posts lately, and I havent scheduled anything for today, so I am going to share my day with all of you... yeah Im super excited about it too. You're welcome ;) jk!

4am: My alarm goes off.. this is what time I need to get up so I can run and then get some things done around the house before work.

Psh F that noise I roll over and set my clock for 5am because well who cares if the laundry doesnt get done one more day, its been sitting in the dryer for 3 days anyway.

5am Alarm goes off and I actually get up this time and I frantically go searching for my workout clothes. You'd think that I would lay them beside the bed or something after all this time but nope.

5:10-6:00 Running around the neighborhood. It looks a little something like this, running and I have a love hate relationship.

6:00- 6:15 Shower ... usually it only takes me a few minutes because I go a day or two without washing my hair I dont just stand there and procrastinate but some days....

6:15- 6:30 I throw my hair up in a messy bun, slap some eye liner on and get dressed. I pull the first thing I see out of the closet and thats what I wear. I dont have time to be a fashionista in the mornings!

6:30- 6:45 I tip toe around the kitchen and prepare my lunch and try to make my breakfast without waking the kids up. This week I have been extra productive because I actually planned my meals ahead of time. Breakfast was an egg white omelet bake I made Tuesday and have been eating on all week (it made 4 servings) and lunch is leftovers from the night before. This morning I decided to go ahead and stick dinner in the oven so all I would have to do is heat it up when I get home tonight BOOM!

6:45 Time to get the kids up... my oldest gets up really easy hes ready to play that damn playstation as soon as his eyes are open.. Jokes on you homie I dont wake you up in time for you to play anymore in the mornings LOL. However, my 2 year old is like his mama and we crave sleep so getting him up is like this...

7:00 we're out the door, I drop the kids off at daycare and sitters and I head to work!

7:45 Walk in to work make the bosses coffee and turn on my computer. Check emails and then log on to blog lovin.... got blogs to read DUH!

8:00-10:30 Do random things the boss asks me to do but mostly read blogs and answer emails.

10:30 Im starving give me a protein shake.. I am really OCD about the times I eat too... I eat at 6:40, 10:30, 12:00, 3:00, and 6:30 and this doesn't change. I know that's weird!

10:40- 12:00 More work and then HEY lunch time!

I never take a lunch break.. however here lately I have because of THIS but usually Im just sitting at my desk stuffing my face.

12:30- 3:00 more work stuff. internets and wanting a nap.. oh and snack time! My life revolves around food I am a sad human.

3:00-4:30 Desperately watching the clock praying for 5:00 to hurry up!
4:30-5:00 Clean the office and scurry out to my car!

Not really I have kids so I pick them up and head home, but sometimes I think about stopping at the bar. *sighs*

5:40-6:30 Prepare Dinner/ EAT

6:45-7:00 get kids bathed and in bed. Yes my children have a 7:00 bed time and they are fine with it, in fact little man can barely keep his eyes open by 6:50.

7:00-9:00 Watch TV, Spend QT with my man, bubble bath then bed.

My life isn't very exciting but at the end of the day Im beat and extra ready for bed. I miss all those naps I didnt want in Kindergarten!

Confess Sesh....

I usually have this post up well in advance but I have been preoccupied lately so you're about to get some randomness straight out of my head.. winging it yo!

First and foremost thank you to everyone who wished me well yesterday about the job interview...I confess I THINK I ROCKED IT! I should know something by Thursday afternoon. Before I left I said, thank you and I hope to hear from you and the principal said you will... so that's gotta be good right?

I confess I may have done a dance like this when I got back to my car LOL



I confess I felt like a total bitch yesterday :( I have kind of been a C word to my boyfriend lately, blame it on life stresses I guess. However when I got home yesterday he had me a brand new phone sitting on the counter. I shattered mine a few months back and have been complaining about it a lot. Yeah bad girlfriend award goes to me!

I confess I lose and gain 3 lbs every freaking week I clean eat and work out Monday - Friday.... I dont know what happens on Saturday and Sunday Im just like give me all the foods and give me all the naps and give me all the Netflix. I suck.

I'm maintaining and I am happy with my weight so win win right? No.. Okay going to put myself in time out.

Anyway I can't think of much else so Im going to stop now :) What are you confessing this week?