You know you're in Alabama if...

So the other morning I posted this facebook status.

 I'm sitting here wondering why my eggs are taking so long...Duh Brittney it might help if you turn the eye on! Lol is it Friday yet?

And someone said EYE.. what are you cooking on so I edited my status to burner because Im not really sure what it's called and then my boyfriend and I had fun with it....

 I guess we say a lot of things differently than people in other parts of the country so just in case you ever visit the 'great' state of Alabama here are some things you'll need to know.

If you order tea its going to be sweet and iced and maybe even in a mason jar. You have to specify if you want unsweet tea but we don't want to hear that noise.. the sweeter the better.

If you are wanting a carbonated beverage you'll probably here someone say I want a coke and then you'll here what kind? Yes a coke means any sort of soda you must then specify if you want Dr. pepper, Pepsi, coca cola, etc.

Y'all is a few people All Y'all is  a lot of people.

If you go to the grocery store you're going to see people pushing buggies none of that cart mess.

Often times we are fixin' to go somewhere... we're not actually fixing anything we're just fixna go! 

The Alabama/ Auburn game might as well be a holiday.

You may be late going somewhere because chances are you're going to get stuck behind a tractor.

You might see dogs in a bar.. or a baby no Im not quoting Sweet Home Alabama I really saw this.

A wash cloth is a rag... you have cleaning rags and bathing rags... of course I only use a loofa but to each their own.

You'll know where slapout alabama is and you'll know there is a boys store and a girls store (shout out to American Idol fans because you probably actually do know where this is now)

Mountain dew... apparently will tickle your innards... I dont say stuff like this but in Slapout Alabama thats how they're advertising it.

The alabama national fair in Chisolm is better than 6 flags.

Houndstooth is a color and you will probably see baby nurseries decorated with it.

We can make any occasion a party..

Yep this is the cookie cake I got my brother when he got a divorce, his birthday was the same week, and he got a promotion.. BBQ promptly after.

You might have to stop in the middle of the road because of a loose cow or horse...it happens.

Usetacould Is a word... which means In the past I was able to do something but Im not so sure that I can presently.

Contrary to belief though most of us dont date our relatives, everyone I know has all their teeth, and unless you live far out in the country we wear shoes and regular clothes. That may or may not be a lie since Im sitting 'indian style' in my office chair barefoot.

Have a great day y'all!!!!

Fitness 5 on Friday

Yall I love Jen like seriously love her! She is so inspiring and encouraging. Last month she hosted the #20x31 challenge and it really motivated me to get out my funk that Ive been in since Winter hit.

She now has a Friday Link up Fitness 5 to try and keep us motivated to really look at what we're doing each week. So without further ado (spelling?)

1. How many minutes of Cardio did you do this week? (anything that got your heart pumping counts!)


Monday Hip Hop Abs 45 Mins
Tues-Thurs Couch to 5k 30 mins each
Friday Hip Hop Abs 45 minutes.
Im hoping to do some sort of workout on Sat & Sun too..Idk what yet though! Total M-F 180!! So far my #1000in30 challenge is going well, but I know Im going to have to step it up!

2. What is your favorite physical activity?

Running. I absolutely love it (love to hate it). When I first get going I hate it but at about 20 minutes in I feel strong and confident and I feel like I can go further and further. It allows me to free my mind and its so theraputic if Im having a bad day I run it out and it always lets me come back clear headed :)

 
3. How much water do you drink on a daily basis?

I do horribly with hydration. Its not just water, I dont drink anything. Yesterday I drank half a bottle of water all day long and a few sips of tea with my dinner. I've got to work on this!

4. What is your favorite healthy snack?
Blueberries and peanut butter... I know that sounds weird but OMG I love it...I may or may not have a jar of PB stashed in my work desk right now hehe

5. What’s your favorite athletic shoe?
My running shoes came from Walmart and they SUCK! I need suggestions...I have to get some new shoes like yesterday!

Best friend material

I am 27 years old and I honestly can't remember the last time I had real girlfriends. I want to say it was sometime in 2005/2006. Obviously we graduated and had babies while some decided to go the other route and party it up while they could. However, a lot of my friends (including myself) got married and had babies in our early 20's. Since then I have had the hardest time making friends and I cannot figure out why. I mean I'm pretty nice and I like to have a good time.

So I decided to dig deep because I mean hello I'm reading about girls nights and Im sitting here like wait what? Whats a girls night?! A girls night for me consisted of babysitting my friend's daughter and watching frozen and painting our fingernails. I mean that was awesome too but I want to go out and share secrets, have someone to talk on the phone with, and to share a glass of wine with too!

The result of my soul searching.... Bitch face. Im just not approachable because I literally look like I am going to murder someone at any given moment. As I stated before my girlfriends and I parted years ago so I had to rely on comments from Mikes friends that Ive heard since we've been dating.


Friend #1: I quit coming around here for a few weeks because when I first met you I thought you wanted to claw my eyes out.

Friend #2:  Whats wrong with you? "nothing" well umm you look like your pissed off.

Bouncer at bar: Ma'am is something wrong? "No"Are you sure? Because you look like you're about to start a bar fight. Umm what!! 

Friend #3 Im sorry I came over unannounced please stop being mad.

Friend #4 Shakes my shoulders cheer up girl lets party

I wasn't unhappy in any of the scenarios above and I definitely didn't want to murder his friend. Its just whenever I don't have a fake plastered smile on my face people think Im mean, bitchy, catty, or depressed or a combination of all of those things.

How the hell am I going to find a bestie with CBF? I mean I can't over exaggerate my great qualities and look like a complete pyscho... I mean can you picture me just absurdly screaming out my best qualities to a complete stranger?! Ha I can the mental picture is hilarious #isthatweird

 

Things that make me best friend material that you dont know because I suffer from CBF

1. Pizza is acceptable at any time. Bonus points for cold pizza for breakfast

2. I can keep secrets.

3. Im not picky, like Id totally let you pick the place we go for GNO

4. I like random dance parties

5. All things wine

6. I eat. Yes I diet, yes I do cardio, but when Im out with friends I eat. So no feeling guilty about your ginormous hamburger bc girl Im gonna have one too!

7. I can put my phone down and have an actual conversation.

8. I like to talk 

9. Im a ride or die... Im the most loyal bitch you'll ever meet.

10. Ill eat that pint of icecream with you after a breakup...promise not to judge.

11.Im down for a night in of netflix binging and junk food

12. Ill hold back your hair if you vomit (I have kids nothing grosses me out)

13. I enjoy spa days (even though ive never had a full spa day just a mani pedi day but Im gonna go ahead and say Id enjoy them.)

14. I love children.

15. I dont lie cheat or steal, and Im generally a positive happy person even if my face doesnt look that way.

Wanna be BFFers!

                                         

Im on a boat...

I posted this picture to facebook Saturday with the caption Im on a boat!!! Ya'll I was so freaking excited. Mike and I made our first big purchase together and got a loan for a boat. His boss was selling his because he upgraded so we jumped at the opportunity!

We got a sitter for the kids because we really wanted to test the waters so to speak before we took them with us.

I was having a great time.. I poured wine in a corona bottle Duh I keeps it classy! I forgot to bring cups.

The guys hung out on the back while us girls got our tan on and really soaked up the lake life. Isnt it so beautiful *sighs*

We stopped at all the camp sites we used to go to when I was a kid... ya know living it up and reminiscing all those good times.

And I sent this to my mom because she was jealous that I was on a boat and she wasn't.... ya know daughter of the year right here!

We stayed out on the boat for about 5 or 6 hours we were really having a great time and I was loving every second of it and couldn't wait to take the kids out the next day. We started heading back because it looked like it was about to rain. Then it happened. It started sputtering and spitting and all my dreams of tan lines and lake life started crashing in front of me. Not to mention a 5000 loan I just took out for god knows how long.

We took it home, after the men folks had to literally pull the thing up on the trailor because it wouldn't crank. Sad face. We had a guy come look at it and guess what. The motor is busted because it wasnt winterized correctly. Good thing we know the guy that sold it to us so we're trying to figure out if we're getting the money back or he's paying to get it fixed. Either way I dont see us back on the lake any time soon.


Damn it I look hot in a bikini! Jk Haha!

June Goals

Im late to the party since its now the 3rd but whatever I'm a rebel... yeah just think that if you want ;)


I did farely well on my May goals and I hope to do even better with June YAY for Summer time!

So we bought a boat last week and I will have to blog about that later this week because it ended up being a total disaster so my dreams of being on the lake every weekend maybe just that... a dream :(

1. Get a tan even if its in my backyard because of said stupid boat!

2. Lose 3 more lbs

3. Complete the #1000in30 challenge visit Living in Yellow for more info or fill out this form to take on the challenge with me.

4. Take my boys camping.

5. Read a book.

6. Go one day completely unplugged.

7. Take a day and pamper myself

Thats it for now... what are your goals?

20X31 Final update & goals

 

The fabulous ladies at JVKom Chronicles, 24 to 30, Optimistic Health, and Running Smiles put together this fabulous challenge where you have to move your body any way you want for 20 minutes (or more) every day for the month of May.

Wow May flew by did it not?

Im so thankful I took on this challenge with all these lovely ladies they were all so inspiring throughout this month :)

So last week my back decided to be a bitch and that made it hard for me to give this challenge all I wanted and then well if Im being honest I got lazy.

I swam last Sunday, walk/ran on Thursday for 21 minutes, cleaned the house and new boat Friday, and swam again on Saturday. Sunday the very last day of the challenge I watched Scandal all freaking day long (seriously where have I been this show is awesome).

However.... for the entire month of May I completed 809 minutes of exercise which in my book is pretty freaking awesome.

My back is back to normal and I took on a new challenge for June #1000in30 with Living in Yellow

Now let me recap my May goals....

1. Drink at least 64 ounces of water everyday FAIL!

2. Complete the 20X31 challenge Completed not as strong as I wanted but I did it.

3. Weigh myself only once a week (I have a bad habit of doing it daily) Only weighed myself once a week...I had to hide the scale LOL

4. Lose 3 lbs Happy dance <3

5.Spend more time outside with the boys We rode bikes, went for walks, played ball, etc.

6. Do crossfit abs at least every other day I did some sort of abs at least every other day.. that counts right?!

I will do my June goals tomorrow...I have a pile of work on my desk and I better get started so I dont lose my job ;)

Stupid things that freak me out...

So I can't be the only one that has some really irrational fears right!? Like my mind goes crazy with all the things that can go wrong some are real some are just out right stupid. Here is a list of stupid things Im afraid of. You're welcome.

1. My boobs popping... I have implants.. I just got them in February and I am super afraid that something I do is going to pop them. Therefore: I'm always on top, Im not water sliding, Im scared to jump on the trampoline... yall these are some serious fears. Maybe its the newness...please tell me that this will go away!

2. Texting the wrong person. I thoroughly check my text messages before I send them because omg what if my mom gets a sexy text (EW) or for example the other day I was texting my b/f about my bosses kinda being in pissy moods, thank God I checked before I sent because I was actually texting my boss. Or one time I was texting my (now ex) husband calling him the biggest piece of shit ever and well I actually sent it to my landlord. Awkward!

3. Roller coasters or any amusement park ride. I used to ride these things and think nothing of it. Now I can't even I start thinking of screws getting loose and me plunging to my death. I dont think I have ridden a amusement park ride since before my children were born!

4.Doctor's phone calls. Dude if I go in for my yearly and you tell me to come back in 6 months, for the next 6 months I will think Im dying of some unspeakable disease only found in some part of the world I've never even been too... seriously #paranoid.

5. Fist fighting.. Im 27 years old and I've never been in a real fight. Like EVER! However, I'm super freaked out about it. What if I cry like a little bitch OR what if its just like in my dreams and every time I throw a punch it's in super slow motion and when I connect with this person's face they just look at me like ahh hell naw!

6. Sticking my hand in the pool filter. So my boyfriend has a pool service business and sometimes I go to work with him. He always makes me empty the filter baskets. However, I am terrified to do so. What if there is a snake curled up in there and it bites me and I die?!  I usually do a little something like this before I actually stick my hand in that basket. Sidenote... I could post some of the gross shiz hes pulled from a pool, but you might be eating so I wont.

7. Calling people. I dont know why this freaks me out but you won't find me calling the radio station to win something, calling a company for information, or sales calls. I hate it when my bosses make me do it at work like I get really uncomfortable. #isthatweird

8. Being kidnapped. No Im not a kid, but seriously when Im running I have a  fear someone is going to stop and snatch me up and I'll never be seen again.There are some really sketchy people in this world and the ice cream man in his weird ass van seriously creeps me out! It looks like this but has bible versus all over it which makes it more creepy to me because in my mind you're trying too hard to prove you're not a kidnapper... #logic

9. Eyes.
Seriously eyes freak me out. I hope my kids never get any kinda eye junk because I will freak out if I have to put meds in them or even look for more than  a split second. I have chills just thinking about it....ew!

and 10. Pennies.
Yes I said pennies as in the worthless copper coins that people dispose of quite often. I can't stand the way they feel and 9 times out of 10 theyre in my disgusting cupholder and they feel gross and please dont ever make me touch a penny! I always tell the cashier to keep them...its not just any change bc I will pick silver change up all day but something about pennies just gross me out.

Tell me I'm not the only one!!! What freaks you out that probably doesn't bother anyone else??