Top 3/ confessions

Today I am supposed to tell you my top 3 favorite blogs, do you know how hard that is? I have 580 blogs on bloglovin, seriously how did I get that many I can't possibly read all of those. Eh any way there are quite a few in my daily reads. The first ones I go to are usually....

Christina at Sold Out Arenas... homegirl is gorgeous and hilarious!

Whitney at I wore Yoga Pants to Work. Her blog always makes me laugh and she makes some pretty
fabulous shirts!

Duckie from Frikken Duckie because shes my soul sister Love her :)





Omg I just want to put everyone's buttons on this post. I love all the blogs I read please check out the ones I follow on BlogLovin, and follow along because these girls and guy are amazeballs!

I wasn't going to do confessions today and then work happened and I really need to vent. I have a very low key job, they don't ask a whole lot of me so most days I work through my lunch break (unpaid) but I dont mind at all because Im not usually doing much anyway. However, you'd think that if I needed to be late or whatever that they wouldn't count it against me since I have 7 months of unpaid lunch breaks under my belt (but who's counting). I had a teaching interview the other morning and told my bosses I'd be late because of it. Apparently he got pissed about it, and docked my pay. He has never docked my pay before I was always able to 'not take a lunch break' to make up for time missed. I confess that I will now take a lunch break EVERY DAMN DAY even if I sit in my hot ass car for an hour because that was some straight up bullshit.

I confess my ex-husband's baby mama makes me want to punch her in the throat. Not because shes done anything to me, but because she reminds me of a 12 year old with her facebook posts. And shes trying way to hard to convice everyone her relationship is awesome and how much she LOVES my kids. I was there for over a decade you're not fooling anyone, he's still an assbag.

And then there's this

which pretty much tells you in detail about clean eating.

That I tried really really hard to read WILD for 2 damn weeks and its boring as hell, I was relieved when my library loan ended and I couldn't renew it because it was already on hold by someone else. I hope Reese Witherspoon does a better job in the movie bc the book was too hard to get into.
 

Happy Hump Day!

Dear college

Dear college first and foremost F you...yeah thats right F you! 

   I have spent the last 6 years of my life writing 18645908678 papers, doing countless lesson plans...then doing them again because they didn't work out. I spent 180 hours in classrooms learning to be a teacher. I read a million stupid books in literature class , spent overwhelming amounts of money at starbucks for hardcore study sessions. Did I mention while I did all this I had two small children at home? Yeah well I put quite a bit of time and effort into you college while my children watched from the sidelines. My babies were eating ramen noodles and easy mac because mommy had a huge exam or whatever the next day. The struggle was real college I hope you don't take this lightly.

Last year we decided to part ways, you finally released me from your treachery for only a small fee of oh 65 grand, and I graduated. Yes I was going on to bigger and better things. I was going to teach all the children. Im telling you I was going to be a freaking legend of a teacher! You would read about me in the history books. Seriously...stop laughing! Oh, but you had other plans for me didn't you college? You made me believe all my dreams were going to come true. Teaching is a position that will never end, there are so many jobs out there, who cares take out another student loan. You most certainly will be able to pay it back because you are definitely going to get a job come August.  I left campus that day with a huge smile on my face....

Graduating...but first let me take a selfie!

Well I began putting in application after application. I just knew that I was going to be a teacher and I was going to be freaking AWESOME at it. Guess what college?! I didn't find a job, instead I took a part time job at a daycare...kind of the same thing right? WRONG! I worked for ignorant people who didn't know if they were coming or going. I got paid once a month, and couldn't even pay my bills. Oh you remember my children right? Yeah they are still struggling right along with mommy. You and your false promises. I decided finally that daycare work just wasnt for me after all I am over qualified. I set my sights out on finding a full time job. Of course teaching was out of the question since it was the middle of the school year. I landed a job as a receptionist....go big or go home right?

Instead of lining children up in cute little lines, learning our ABCs and 123s, and making colorful bulletin boards..Im currently contemplating banging my head on this desk repeatedly. My day now pretty much consists of fetching coffee and making copies oh and this...

Making coffee for my bosses...but first let me take a selfie

See college you have failed me you have let me down. Stop calling me...I dont have your money. I know I owe you 65grand but I will tell you just like I tell all my other debt collectors (we've became friends maybe I should write them a letter too) I dont have the money Im a single mom working a 8-5 with minimum pay. I might can look in the bottom of my purse but Im pretty sure all that is in there is a half eaten sucker, some cracker crumbs, and maybe a lego or two. Do you accept that as payment? You dont...damn thought we could make a deal!

In conclusion.... Fuck you college! Guess I could have made it short and sweet and said that in the beginning but this was more fun!

Finish the sentence...

When I open the fridge, I always hope I find a mountain dew, but I never do, and that makes me sad. Damn you healthy lifestyle and your lack of deliciousness that is the dew! But if we're being honest. There is rarely anything in my fridge that doesnt have to be cooked and in the middle of the night I'm like this...and then resort to eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. I have no shame.

My favorite article of clothing is yoga pants and a tank top. I hate getting dressed, I hate doing my hair, and I hate doing my makeup and if my boyfriend didn't fuss about it I probably wouldn't shave my legs either. Im so not a girly girl. Plus I dont have to do this with my yoga pants. I heart you yoga pants.
 


Last week I was really pissed when I had to come back to work after vacation. I just wanted to lay in bed for another few days but apparently thats frowned upon as an adult.

One thing nobody understands about me is I have moments when I am a complete crazy person and everything pisses me off for no reason and then a few seconds later Im all unicorns and rainbows. I think sometimes I just need to be left alone...with snacks...and netflix. I really think its just what happens when you become a mom... you have to act insane to get a moment of peace.

One thing I don't understand is... seriously we could be here all day if I answered this one. However, I really dont understand how men want to have children and then not want to help take care of them. I am supposed to pay for everything and still let you come and get them when ever you want to and you get to be superdad and take them to the waterpark or where ever else and yet you dont have to spend a billion dollars on diapers or more than rent on daycare... UGH! sorry I got carried away.

The world would be a better place if you got a summer break as an adult..a paid summer break... yes people would be so happy :) The last day of work before Summer, adults everywhere would be like

If I had a million dollars, I'd pay off student loans, buy a house, new wardrobe and a bunch of other materialistic bullshit that means nothing in the grand scheme of things but Im broke and right now these are the things Im thinking of. 

If I knew I'd die next week, this week I'd hug my children more, quit work to spend every last dime I had to take my kids somewhere special and make sure they know how much I love them. This question really made me sad :(

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be my self confidence. I am lacking in this department and I think I'd excel at so many things if I had more confidence in myself.

Something that can always make me happy is my boys, they may drive me insane but their smiles or hugs out of no where will definitely put a smile on my face.

Something I'll never blog about is my views on religion.

If I could go anywhere I would go on a road trip to all the places I'd like to visit most. Top on my list is New York City because I've never been out of this small town I live in. Ive traveled to Florida and Georgia but I still feel like I've only visited relatively small cities. I want to experience New York and Im sure its nothing like Sex and the City but it's always been a dream of mine to go :) 

If I were an animal I would be a sloth...I'd be the perfect sloth. I love to sleep and if I dont have a redbull then I move at a very slow pace. Im capable of falling asleep anywhere. Fact one time I fell asleep standing up at the lake and ended up in the water. Yeah sloth, I'd be great at being a sloth. Was I supposed to put something inspirational here? LOL

A job I've always wanted is to be a teacher, you all already know this though :-)

My idea of a perfect day is when the temperature is about 75 not a cloud in the sky. No work (duh) and we're cruising down the lake all day with the kids. Good food, cold drinks, and not a worry in the world. Im a simple kind of girl, I'll take a relaxing day on the lake any day!



Oh yeah today is my mom's birthday, she doesnt read my blog but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Beachin....

I don't like doing weekend recaps because they are kind of boring. However, I never blog on the weekends so I thought I'd just share my beach vacation with you today :)

I haven't been to the beach in 3 years and when Mike just said hey let's go to the beach at the spur of the moment I was like HELL YEAH!!!

We left Thursday night when I got off of work. When I pulled in the driveway they were in the truck buckled and ready to go. I literally jumped out of my car and into the truck and off we went.

3 hours later we arrived at The Phoenix 7... this place was AMAZING!!!

We quickly unpacked and ordered pizza, it was almost 9pm and the kids were so tired. After we got the kids to bed we snuck out for a walk on the beach (not far of course) I also may or may not have had one too many shots of fireball on the beach and had to be put to bed like the children.

Friday (HAPPY 4th)
I woke up and I really wanted to run on the beach because I've never done it before and well lets just say with a slight hangover and running on sand that run lasted all of 30 minutes #aintnobodygottimeforthat

When I got back I was like yall gotta get up we're at the beach we cant sleep all day! Yes I was obnoxious like a kid in the candy store!

We all got ready and went down to the beach... ready for a photo dump? Here you go!

this kid will nap anywhere LOL

After we were good and crispy we went upstairs to take a nap relax a little bit before going to dinner.
We decided to go to The Perdido Key Oyster Bar Restaurant & Marina.
I have never had oysters before but ya know when in Rome! So I tried them, sorry Im a bad blogger and left my camera in the truck so no pictures of my oysters and over sized wine glass (does that even go together? ) Anyway I liked them and that's another new strange food item off my list of things I said I'd never try!

We left the oyster bar and went to Adventure Island for some mini golf. I have never played before and I had a blast  :-)
Ready for photo dump number 2?

Hes less than enthused about me taking his picture Love ya babe!

me and lil bro

I should be a fashion blogger ..no?

We watched fireworks from the hotel because 1. Im not paying for my money to blow up and 2. the hotel put on a great show. Sadly Brock freaked out and I have no pictures of that, but at this point you may be thankful LOL

We then put the kids to bed and went out on the beach for a night cap. Im classy I poured an entire bottle of wine in a water bottle, no glass allowed on the beach. Im a problem solver yo!

While we were sitting out there some girls came up to us and asked if we wanted to play drunk Jenga...um what? Anyway they were at the same hotel as us and only a few rooms down so we went to their room to play drunk jenga. Basically you write stupid things to do on a jenga block and whenever you pull a block out you have to do what it says and if you knock them down you have to chug your beer.  That lasted about 2 minutes and I was like Im going to check on the kids because I cant say my alphabet backwards even when sober am a responsible parent. When I made sure the babes were good we went back down there to play a card game. It was called Captain Dickhead. Ha I loved this game. Click HERE for the instructions. I had a blast. I never got to do dumb stuff like that when I was younger and it was the first time I felt like I was experiencing what my younger 20s should have been like.

After one too many drinks and a water bottle full of wine it was time to call it a night. The next day I really didnt want to go lay on the beach because I was soo crispy but we're at the beach and we can't waste this precious time. We ended up lounging by the pool all day getting even more fried and we grilled hamburgers for dinner. I really wanted to go play golf again so we did that. That night we were in bed by 10pm I just couldn't take anymore.

Sunday we packed up and went home 'sad face'

we had a blast :) If you read all of this you get a cookie!

Friday Funnies

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

Its Friday, and Im keeping it light. Here are some of my fave Pinterest funnies.


Have yall seen BatDad? Seriously laid in bed last night and found all the videos I was laughing so hard I was crying. Its so simple, its just hilarious to me.

these make me laugh all the time!

 

thats so me LOL

 Okay I better stop now.. follow me on PINTEREST if you want to see more of my funnies.

Sweet Summer Time

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

Ahh Sweet summertime...today's prompt is favorite things to do in the Summer. I love summertime and I love summer down here in the south, even if it is extremely hot!

Some of my favorite things to do in the summer include...

Going to the lake.

Going swimming.

Getting sunburned.

Late night bon fires

Taking the kids to the park... and playin in the creek.

Baseball (like the fun kind not the organized sport kind because thats boring)

Neighborhood kickball

drinking sweet tea sitting on my back porch.

Running outside

Playing pool in the man cave

Listening to country music

mud riding

Taking long rides with the windows down and the radio up.

Being barefoot.

I could go on and on but I'll stop Summer is obviously my favorite season of all...

Do you love Summer, what is your favorite thing about summer?

That time I forgot how to ADULT

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

Hmm do I really want to share this? It really is my most embarrassing moment yet eh F it it made for a laugh later on.

In February I had some surgery and once I got home I was all kinds of delirious because of heaven candy pain pills. Hey Valium and Tabs you really had me in some crazy dimension of life but the sleep, oh the sleep was glorious.

Anyway one night I was feeling a lot of pain and decided to take more than the recommended dosage take my meds and call it a night.

I remember having the strangest dreams I was all over the place and then I was in a bar and I had to pee really bad... do you see where this is going?

In my dream I peed for like half an hour and by the time I was done everyone had left me at the bar.

Suddenly I woke up because I had to pee...ya know thats what adults do their bodies tell them they have to pee and they wake up to go do said peeing.

When I went to get up out of the bed the entire bed was soaking wet. I was like WTF I looked over at my boyfriend, did he seriously fuckin pee the bed? Uhm no he was sleeping soundly all dry the enormous pee spot was from me.

I quickly went to the bathroom, peed again, what the hell? I then took a shower dreading waking my man up to tell him Hey get up I have to change the sheets because I forgot how to adult. I woke him up tears streaming down my face I said Mike you have to wake up now. Hes all like what why whats wrong its 2am. Im all like ya know the usual I pissed all in the bed now I need you to get up. He busted out laughing, ripped the sheets off the bed, and returned to his slumber.

I, on the other hand, laid there trying to keep from this happening again...

I was mortified and in pain and in utter shock that I had just peed in the bed that I share with my boyfriend. I mean how long on the dating time line is this acceptable? NEVER?!

Moral of this story, dont take pain pills together and then go to sleep... you'll piss your pants.

Hey I can link up with Kathy too YAY for confessions.