Finish the sentence...

When I open the fridge, I always hope I find a mountain dew, but I never do, and that makes me sad. Damn you healthy lifestyle and your lack of deliciousness that is the dew! But if we're being honest. There is rarely anything in my fridge that doesnt have to be cooked and in the middle of the night I'm like this...and then resort to eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. I have no shame.

My favorite article of clothing is yoga pants and a tank top. I hate getting dressed, I hate doing my hair, and I hate doing my makeup and if my boyfriend didn't fuss about it I probably wouldn't shave my legs either. Im so not a girly girl. Plus I dont have to do this with my yoga pants. I heart you yoga pants.
 


Last week I was really pissed when I had to come back to work after vacation. I just wanted to lay in bed for another few days but apparently thats frowned upon as an adult.

One thing nobody understands about me is I have moments when I am a complete crazy person and everything pisses me off for no reason and then a few seconds later Im all unicorns and rainbows. I think sometimes I just need to be left alone...with snacks...and netflix. I really think its just what happens when you become a mom... you have to act insane to get a moment of peace.

One thing I don't understand is... seriously we could be here all day if I answered this one. However, I really dont understand how men want to have children and then not want to help take care of them. I am supposed to pay for everything and still let you come and get them when ever you want to and you get to be superdad and take them to the waterpark or where ever else and yet you dont have to spend a billion dollars on diapers or more than rent on daycare... UGH! sorry I got carried away.

The world would be a better place if you got a summer break as an adult..a paid summer break... yes people would be so happy :) The last day of work before Summer, adults everywhere would be like

If I had a million dollars, I'd pay off student loans, buy a house, new wardrobe and a bunch of other materialistic bullshit that means nothing in the grand scheme of things but Im broke and right now these are the things Im thinking of. 

If I knew I'd die next week, this week I'd hug my children more, quit work to spend every last dime I had to take my kids somewhere special and make sure they know how much I love them. This question really made me sad :(

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be my self confidence. I am lacking in this department and I think I'd excel at so many things if I had more confidence in myself.

Something that can always make me happy is my boys, they may drive me insane but their smiles or hugs out of no where will definitely put a smile on my face.

Something I'll never blog about is my views on religion.

If I could go anywhere I would go on a road trip to all the places I'd like to visit most. Top on my list is New York City because I've never been out of this small town I live in. Ive traveled to Florida and Georgia but I still feel like I've only visited relatively small cities. I want to experience New York and Im sure its nothing like Sex and the City but it's always been a dream of mine to go :) 

If I were an animal I would be a sloth...I'd be the perfect sloth. I love to sleep and if I dont have a redbull then I move at a very slow pace. Im capable of falling asleep anywhere. Fact one time I fell asleep standing up at the lake and ended up in the water. Yeah sloth, I'd be great at being a sloth. Was I supposed to put something inspirational here? LOL

A job I've always wanted is to be a teacher, you all already know this though :-)

My idea of a perfect day is when the temperature is about 75 not a cloud in the sky. No work (duh) and we're cruising down the lake all day with the kids. Good food, cold drinks, and not a worry in the world. Im a simple kind of girl, I'll take a relaxing day on the lake any day!



Oh yeah today is my mom's birthday, she doesnt read my blog but HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Beachin....

I don't like doing weekend recaps because they are kind of boring. However, I never blog on the weekends so I thought I'd just share my beach vacation with you today :)

I haven't been to the beach in 3 years and when Mike just said hey let's go to the beach at the spur of the moment I was like HELL YEAH!!!

We left Thursday night when I got off of work. When I pulled in the driveway they were in the truck buckled and ready to go. I literally jumped out of my car and into the truck and off we went.

3 hours later we arrived at The Phoenix 7... this place was AMAZING!!!

We quickly unpacked and ordered pizza, it was almost 9pm and the kids were so tired. After we got the kids to bed we snuck out for a walk on the beach (not far of course) I also may or may not have had one too many shots of fireball on the beach and had to be put to bed like the children.

Friday (HAPPY 4th)
I woke up and I really wanted to run on the beach because I've never done it before and well lets just say with a slight hangover and running on sand that run lasted all of 30 minutes #aintnobodygottimeforthat

When I got back I was like yall gotta get up we're at the beach we cant sleep all day! Yes I was obnoxious like a kid in the candy store!

We all got ready and went down to the beach... ready for a photo dump? Here you go!

this kid will nap anywhere LOL

After we were good and crispy we went upstairs to take a nap relax a little bit before going to dinner.
We decided to go to The Perdido Key Oyster Bar Restaurant & Marina.
I have never had oysters before but ya know when in Rome! So I tried them, sorry Im a bad blogger and left my camera in the truck so no pictures of my oysters and over sized wine glass (does that even go together? ) Anyway I liked them and that's another new strange food item off my list of things I said I'd never try!

We left the oyster bar and went to Adventure Island for some mini golf. I have never played before and I had a blast  :-)
Ready for photo dump number 2?

Hes less than enthused about me taking his picture Love ya babe!

me and lil bro

I should be a fashion blogger ..no?

We watched fireworks from the hotel because 1. Im not paying for my money to blow up and 2. the hotel put on a great show. Sadly Brock freaked out and I have no pictures of that, but at this point you may be thankful LOL

We then put the kids to bed and went out on the beach for a night cap. Im classy I poured an entire bottle of wine in a water bottle, no glass allowed on the beach. Im a problem solver yo!

While we were sitting out there some girls came up to us and asked if we wanted to play drunk Jenga...um what? Anyway they were at the same hotel as us and only a few rooms down so we went to their room to play drunk jenga. Basically you write stupid things to do on a jenga block and whenever you pull a block out you have to do what it says and if you knock them down you have to chug your beer.  That lasted about 2 minutes and I was like Im going to check on the kids because I cant say my alphabet backwards even when sober am a responsible parent. When I made sure the babes were good we went back down there to play a card game. It was called Captain Dickhead. Ha I loved this game. Click HERE for the instructions. I had a blast. I never got to do dumb stuff like that when I was younger and it was the first time I felt like I was experiencing what my younger 20s should have been like.

After one too many drinks and a water bottle full of wine it was time to call it a night. The next day I really didnt want to go lay on the beach because I was soo crispy but we're at the beach and we can't waste this precious time. We ended up lounging by the pool all day getting even more fried and we grilled hamburgers for dinner. I really wanted to go play golf again so we did that. That night we were in bed by 10pm I just couldn't take anymore.

Sunday we packed up and went home 'sad face'

we had a blast :) If you read all of this you get a cookie!

Friday Funnies

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

Its Friday, and Im keeping it light. Here are some of my fave Pinterest funnies.


Have yall seen BatDad? Seriously laid in bed last night and found all the videos I was laughing so hard I was crying. Its so simple, its just hilarious to me.

these make me laugh all the time!

 

thats so me LOL

 Okay I better stop now.. follow me on PINTEREST if you want to see more of my funnies.

Sweet Summer Time

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

Ahh Sweet summertime...today's prompt is favorite things to do in the Summer. I love summertime and I love summer down here in the south, even if it is extremely hot!

Some of my favorite things to do in the summer include...

Going to the lake.

Going swimming.

Getting sunburned.

Late night bon fires

Taking the kids to the park... and playin in the creek.

Baseball (like the fun kind not the organized sport kind because thats boring)

Neighborhood kickball

drinking sweet tea sitting on my back porch.

Running outside

Playing pool in the man cave

Listening to country music

mud riding

Taking long rides with the windows down and the radio up.

Being barefoot.

I could go on and on but I'll stop Summer is obviously my favorite season of all...

Do you love Summer, what is your favorite thing about summer?

That time I forgot how to ADULT

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

Hmm do I really want to share this? It really is my most embarrassing moment yet eh F it it made for a laugh later on.

In February I had some surgery and once I got home I was all kinds of delirious because of heaven candy pain pills. Hey Valium and Tabs you really had me in some crazy dimension of life but the sleep, oh the sleep was glorious.

Anyway one night I was feeling a lot of pain and decided to take more than the recommended dosage take my meds and call it a night.

I remember having the strangest dreams I was all over the place and then I was in a bar and I had to pee really bad... do you see where this is going?

In my dream I peed for like half an hour and by the time I was done everyone had left me at the bar.

Suddenly I woke up because I had to pee...ya know thats what adults do their bodies tell them they have to pee and they wake up to go do said peeing.

When I went to get up out of the bed the entire bed was soaking wet. I was like WTF I looked over at my boyfriend, did he seriously fuckin pee the bed? Uhm no he was sleeping soundly all dry the enormous pee spot was from me.

I quickly went to the bathroom, peed again, what the hell? I then took a shower dreading waking my man up to tell him Hey get up I have to change the sheets because I forgot how to adult. I woke him up tears streaming down my face I said Mike you have to wake up now. Hes all like what why whats wrong its 2am. Im all like ya know the usual I pissed all in the bed now I need you to get up. He busted out laughing, ripped the sheets off the bed, and returned to his slumber.

I, on the other hand, laid there trying to keep from this happening again...

I was mortified and in pain and in utter shock that I had just peed in the bed that I share with my boyfriend. I mean how long on the dating time line is this acceptable? NEVER?!

Moral of this story, dont take pain pills together and then go to sleep... you'll piss your pants.

Hey I can link up with Kathy too YAY for confessions.

How about some alone time?

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

So most of you know I have 3 small children and a live in boyfriend oh and my brother just moved in with us too. Alone time is not something that happens very often but when I get some alone time im like

So what are some things might a mom of 3 do when she's home alone you ask....

• practice my booty shaking skills in the mirror... dont judge me I know you've done it before!
• Drink an entire bottle of wine then pass out in the recliner.
• Bubble bath with candles (im sophisticated yo!)
• Eat junk food without hiding it... Woo hoo I dont have to share with the kids.
• Read all night long in my bed.
• Browse facebook
• Binge watch Netflix
• Pick my nose, I kid, or am I?
• Fold laundry DO IT BIG YO!
• Paint my toenails.
• shave my legs.
• Spend entirely too long on the toilet because its so rare when I get to go by myself.

• think of better things I could have said in an argument.
• browse facebook
• eat ice cream out of the container
• PIZZA for one please.
• Do sit ups then look at my abs... 
• get sad when theres not instant success
• text my boyfriend because Im bored.
• Check on my kids.
• Go to bed early

Clearly I am 'bout that life, I know you're secretly jealous of all the awesomeness going on up in here!

What do you do when you're alone and DONT even try to tell me you dont booty pop in the mirror every now and then LOL

Things that make me smile..

I'm linking up with Allie, Faith, and Juliette for....

I missed the first week but Im in for the rest of July, hopefully, I am not a weekend blogger. :P

Things that make me smile:

Emma Stone..I love her!

My beautiful children, at least while they are sleeping, I kid...maybe.

My boyfriend *swoon*

My bosses letting me leave early

Small children playing

Teaching

Blog comments

Gifs

Talking to my mom

Silly texts

Random acts of kindness

When my youngest winks at me (he just slowly blinks his eyes)

When I get a job interview (TOMORROW)

Hearing All of Me..yes its played out but it makes me think of Mike

The rare chance my oldest gives me a hug (gosh am I that mom already)

The ending of a good book
Icecream

 

Sunny days
Starbucks
Manicures where my tech HEY MIMI doesnt talk in another language the entire time!

again my children, they really are the light of my life!

What makes you smile?